Navigating Neurodiversity: Bridging Gaps in Therapy and Advocacy

April 2, 2024

Neurodiversity Attuned Therapy  needs to happen now

For far too long, neurodivergence has been misunderstood and overlooked, particularly in adults and children who tend to sit quietly in the background, flying under the radar while working hard to fit in. As research has progressed, it has become evident that neurodivergence exists on a broad spectrum, often accompanied by co-occurring issues like trauma, anxiety, and depression.


What is NeuroDivergence?

Neurodivergence is the term for when someone's brain processes, learns, and/or behaves differently from what is considered "typical." (See the Very Well Mind website for a more complete understanding).   Many diagnosis fall under the umbrella of Neurodivergence, such as ADHD, Autism, AudHD,  Dyslexia, Tourette, OCD, etc,  (see image above the text, a non exhaustive view of Neurodiversity by Dr Nancy Doyle). Many neurodiverse individuals  experience two or more types, while others have yet to find a diagnosis that fit them.


When adults seek therapy, it's often due to a  struggle to fit in, an experience of depression or anxiety, or a feeling of overwhelm toward what is expected of them.   Clients sometimes mention that they were treated for ADHD as children, and that somehow as adults they were expected to fall into the "normal" range of thinking, feeling and functioning.  Traditional adult therapy seeks to treat symptoms without fully adapting interventions to encompass the diversity within neurotypes.

Unfortunately, graduate and postgraduate trainings often lacks in those adaptations, leaving many behind both in terms of neurodiverse therapists and clients. This is a cycle of lack or training, lack of adaptability within trainings, and an ignorance around neurodiverse clients that keep many of them from continuing therapy, thinking that there is something drastically "wrong" with them that a therapist can't "get" them.


The recent diagnosis with my own neurodiversity spurred me to delve deeper into the concept of neuro-affirming psychotherapy. I embarked on a journey, interviewing three neurodivergent therapists in Colorado to understand how they approach therapy differently from the neurotypical model. Through this series of blogs, I aim to share my findings, recognizing that while subjective, they contribute to an emerging movement of neurodiversity-affirming approaches within counseling.

In the upcoming blog posts, I'll explore various aspects of neurodiversity-affirming psychotherapy:

  • 1. Therapeutic Relationship and Format: Delving into the differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent styles of therapy, highlighting the importance of tailoring therapeutic approaches to individual neurotypes.
  • 2. Neurodivergence from a Nervous System Perspective: Examining how understanding neurodivergence through the lens of the nervous system can lead to a more trauma-informed approach to therapy, recognizing the interconnectedness of neurodiversity and trauma.
  • 3. Insights from Neurodivergent Therapists: Sharing pearls of wisdom gathered from interviews, encouraging therapists to learn from neurodivergent perspectives and empowering clients to navigate the therapeutic landscape more effectively.

Ultimately, advocacy for neurodiversity begins with education. By bridging the gap between providers and clients through understanding and guidance, we can dispel misconceptions, strengthen therapeutic relationships, and ensure more congruent and effective treatment for all individuals, regardless of neurotype. Join me on this journey of exploration and advocacy as we strive for a more inclusive and affirming approach to psychotherapy.


June 20, 2026
As a therapist, I have heard some version of this question more times than I can : " Why do I always attract the wrong type of people? People who take and take and never give back. People who ignore me. People who treat me badly." And here is the honest answer: you don't know any better yet. Not because you're broken or oblivious — but because your nervous system is doing exactly what nervous systems do. It's keeping you in familiar territory. Familiarity Beats Safety. Every Time. This is the piece most people miss. Your nervous system isn't wired to seek out what's good for you. It's wired to seek out what's known to you. So if all you've ever known are relationships where love was conditional, where you had to earn your place, where being neglected or disrespected was just... Tuesday — then that's what your system registers as "normal." And normal feels safe, even when it isn't. Here's where it gets interesting. A lot of people who grew up in those environments discovered a workaround: give more . Give enough, and people like you. Give enough, and you stay in control. The more you do for people, the more you're needed — and being needed feels like belonging. The problem? That vibe attracts people who need to receive but can't reciprocate. And being given to ? Being truly cared for? That feels downright threatening, because it's unfamiliar. Familiarity beats safety. Every time. So How Do You Change the Template? You don't change your relationship patterns by finding better people. You change them by changing what feels normal to you. Here's how: 1. Notice what happens when you receive. Pay attention to how you feel when someone gives you a compliment, does something kind for you, or offers help. Really notice it. Most people who grew up giving first, last, and always feel deeply uncomfortable in that moment — fidgety, dismissive, quick to deflect. That discomfort is data. It's telling you that your nervous system has spent decades turning away from receiving and toward giving. 2. Start asking for things. Ask for help. Ask for support. Ask for care. And then sit with how hard that is. This isn't about becoming needy — it's about practicing something your system has been avoiding for a long time. 3. Build your tolerance for receiving, slowly. When the discomfort shows up (and it will), don't run from it. Notice it. Sit with it. Send it a little curiosity instead of judgment. If you do parts work, this is a great place to get curious about the part that goes stiff when someone is kind to you — where do you feel it in your body? Does it have an age? What does it need? Give it some compassion. It's been working very hard to keep you "safe." 4. Orient toward the people who actually show up for you. This one's simple but not easy. Start paying attention to people who offer care without expecting anything in return. Notice how it feels to be around them. Watch how they treat others. And here's the key shift: focus on who you are when you're with them — not what you can do for them. Follow the discomfort. The people who make you feel slightly squirmy because they're just... genuinely kind? Those are the people worth your attention. 5. Let it become your new normal. The more you orient your energy toward people who care for you without keeping score, the more familiar that starts to feel. Slowly, effortlessly, your template shifts. You stop scanning for ways to be useful and start noticing how you feel . That's when you know something real has changed. The Bottom Line You're not cursed. You're not a magnet for bad people. You're just running an old operating system that was built to keep you safe in an environment that wasn't. And like any operating system, it can be updated. It takes time. It takes discomfort. And it takes being willing to let people actually care for you — even when that's the scariest thing of all. That's the work. And it's worth it. Annabelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the owner of Renegade Counseling, a telehealth practice specializing in complex trauma, dissociation, and neurodivergent-affirming care. She works with adults across Colorado and Washington.
a small wooden mannequin
By looka_production_137487489 February 25, 2026
A look at how Christina Applegate’s approach to naming her body parts mirrors parts work and Pain Reprocessing Therapy—helping people with chronic illness reduce fear, reframe pain, and rebuild a compassionate relationship with their bodies.