ADHD and conversations

Annabelle Denmark, MA, LPCC • July 19, 2023

Convos - interrupted

Adults who have recently been diagnosed with/ or suspect that they may have ADHD experience a wide array of symptoms, from difficulties honoring deadlines, staying organized, following through on a project or finding motivation. A part of ADHD that is not often mentioned is the difficulties individuals might have with conversations, be it in a group or with one person. 


ADHD in social situations

In the case of ADHD, the person is usually well aware of what is happening around them. They understand the social cues, and they can read body language well. However the struggle becomes apparent when a conversation takes place, between two or more. If you imagine a conversation being a bit like a tennis match, where, overall, equivalent amount of time is shared between the two (or more) partners, with adequate pauses and silently agreed upon reactions, the person with ADHD will be the person running to the net….or to the opponent's side of the court. The person with ADHD will be interrupting the flow of the conversation with ill timed thoughts (in the middle of someone else’s sentence) or with silences, as they lose track of the flow and get lost in their own mind. Some may side track to a completely different topic. Some may converse on several tracks, interweaving themes and getting lost in between. 


The interruptions are common for people with ADHD, and there are several reasons for it

  • Dopamine production. People with ADHD historically produce less Dopamine than the norm, leading them to seek more. Dopamine is the “pleasure hormone” of the brain. If the person with ADHD is less interested in the topic, having a less pleasurable experience, their brain will start looking for other ways to entertain itself and produce more dopamine. The person might interrupt the conversation to reroute it to a more entertaining space. 
  • Working memory. People with ADHD tend to have poor working memory, the memory that is used daily to remember where, for example, one placed their keys, or what needs to be done next, or being able to place a thought in a temporary hold to get back to it later.  In this case, the person with ADHD will have a thought in the middle of conversation that they know might disappear if they don’t tend to it. The fear of losing the thought will cause them to express it, causing disruption. 
  • Impulsivity. People with ADHD tend to have poor impulse control, immediately reacting to a perceived  want or need. This is due to low dopamine production and  to having poor working memory. That impulsivity, when not managed, will show up in terms of interruption of the flow of conversation with new thoughts, checking one’s phone, googling data in the middle of a sentence, etc. 


The shame of ADHD and interruptions

I have often heard clients recount their experiences in groups, feeling that they took too much space or that they were perceived as rude for interrupting. Those clients feel guilt and sometimes shame for their behavior, believing that there is something wrong with them, and feeling that they are “bad”, “selfish”, or “antisocial”. This awareness of how they showed up, and not being able to do anything about it, causes them to feel a great amount of pain. 


What to do about it

If you believe that you have ADHD, or if you have been diagnosed with ADHD, here are several tools to help you manage interruptions : 

  • Warn your conversation partner. ADHD is not an excuse, it is an explanation. Warning your partner that you may interrupt, and letting them know that it’s ok to be called out, can help you develop a moment to moment awareness and give you a chance to adjust their behavior. 
  • Have a note book with you (or a phone with a note taking app). If an important thought comes up, you can warn your partner that you need to pause for a second to write something down. That way you do not disrupt the flow with irrelevant information
  • Remove distractions : put your phone on “do not disturb”
  • Start noticing when you interrupt and stop talking. As soon as you notice, stop yourself and quickly apologize with a couple of words. When you do that, you train your brain to be more mindful and to go back to the conversation.
  • Understand that it takes time, patience and a lot of mishaps. When you go home, start thinking about what others shared, instead of what you did or didn’t do right. You will always have an opportunity to try again. 


The content of this blog is based on my personal and clinical experience. It is not a diagnostic tool. If you suspect you might have ADHD, please seek assessment by a qualified professional.  For more information about who i am, check out the about me page. For more info about what I do, check out the services page. And contact me here

December 16, 2025
How creating a space for your anger can help you cope with being around people you don't really want to be around
November 22, 2025
I’ve pulled together a holiday wishlist full of things that actually help — not the “must-have productivity bullet journal” hype, but real tools that me and people in my little ADHD-community lean on. Some of these are sensory, some are calming, some are just practical for a brain that forgets where it put its keys… again. This list is not sponsored — these are things that have brought relief or joy to real neurodivergent folks, myself included. My ADHD Gift Guide: What to Ask For (or Treat Yourself To) 1. Books & Workbooks The Anti-Planner If you’ve tried all the planners and they just end up collecting dust: this is for you. It’s not a dated planner — think of it more like an activity workbook for procrastinators. There are games, prompts, and low-pressure strategies to help you actually start stuff, even when motivation is MIA. It’s a favorite because it meets you where you are. Dani Donovan / Anti-Planner+1 Where to buy: You can order The Anti-Planner directly from the author’s site. Dani Donovan / Anti-Planner (Note: be careful of knockoffs.) Reddit+1 2. Fidgets & Sensory Tools Little Ouchie Grippie — This is one of our top picks in the office. It’s spiky, but in a grounding way — great for emotional regulation, calming down, or just giving your hands something to do when your brain is all over the place. Square Magic Dice — This is the fidget I can’t stop playing with. There’s a little hidden gem inside: a spinning-top spring surprise. It’s simultaneously weirdly magic and deeply satisfying. 3. Nervous System + Bedtime Support Pulsetto Vagus‑Nerve Device — Okay, full disclosure: I’m skeptical about how effective it is. BUT — I use it every night. The soundtrack, the ritual, the feel — it’s comforting. Pulsetto uses gentle vagus-nerve stimulation to help you relax, reset, and (supposedly) sleep better. 4. Grounding + Anxiety Soothers Bearaby Organic Cotton Weighted Blanket — Weighted blankets are a classic, and this one is dreamy. Soft knit cotton that’s breathable, but still gives that comforting hug. Perfect for calming down racing thoughts or overactive nerves. 5. Practical Lifesavers for the Forgetful Brain Apple AirTag — This is basically my “where are my keys? where’s my phone?” insurance. I’ve got like ten of these floating around, and on stressful days, “Find My” is my lifeline. 📝 A Few Other Beloved Ideas Beyond the main items, here are some bonus favorites from clients: Mini sensory stones or palm pebbles (textured, smooth, grounding) Visual timers (e.g., time-block timers) like the time timer A sunrise / gentle alarm clock (for less jarring wakeups) Noise-canceling headphones if the world feels too loud A self-care workbook (unplanner style) to track moods, energy, and needs 💬 Why These Items, Specifically I didn’t choose these just because they’re “trendy ADHD gifts.” Instead: These are things that people in my therapy space or IRL community actually use . They support emotional regulation , sensory needs , executive functioning , or daily brain stuff — not just productivity for the sake of “being busy.” Many are tools , not “fixes.” They’re not magic cures, but they help make life a little more manageable. ⚠️ Disclaimer This is just a personal list, curated from me + my clients. I’m not a product reviewer or a scientist — I’m a therapist + ADHD person. I cannot guarantee that these will “work” for you. Use your own judgment for anything with health or sensory implications. None of this is sponsored or affiliate-linked (unless you find links later, that’s your call — but not mine).
self portrait, green and yellow visual distortion
By Annabelle Denmark LPC May 1, 2025
This post is for therapists in training and clients who would like to know a bit more about how I show up in session.