The Neurodivergent Therapist and Self-Care

Annabelle Denmark, MA, LPCC • September 10, 2024

Navigating Burnout When You Can’t See It Coming

Self-care is a term we hear constantly, especially in helping professions like therapy. For therapists, self-care is not just a trendy buzzword; it's essential to avoiding burnout. But for neurodivergent therapists—myself included—it’s a more nuanced and challenging task.

I recently took a week off, not because I felt I needed to, but because those around me kept insisting that I did. Friends, colleagues, even family were urging me to take a break, and honestly, I couldn’t understand why. I love my work. I don’t experience that classic "I need a break" feeling, but that's part of the problem: I often struggle to notice the subtle cues my body sends me. Things like hunger, fatigue, or emotional exhaustion tend to slip under the radar. It’s not uncommon for me to realize only at the end of a long day that I haven’t eaten properly or checked in with how I’m really feeling.


This is partly due to ADHD. Between impulsivity, hyperfocus, and time blindness, I find it hard to slow down enough to recognize what my body or mind is telling me. Alexithymia—the difficulty in identifying or describing emotions—adds another layer of complexity. It's not that I don't have emotions; it's that I don’t always know what they are or how to interpret them. I become so engrossed in a task that time seems to vanish, and my needs take a back seat. By the time I notice, I'm already past the point of needing to resource.

For a neurodivergent therapist, self-care can be an elusive concept. The job itself is demanding, requiring emotional energy and mental resilience. Add ADHD into the mix, and it becomes harder to disengage from work. Hyperfocus—where I lose track of time, sometimes for hours—means I skip breaks or work longer than I intend. The drive to be "good enough" or even to overcompensate can lead to pushing myself harder than I should, especially when I don’t recognize the warning signs.

So, what’s the solution when you’re not always aware of your own needs?


Rituals. Rituals become crucial. Even when I don’t think I need a break, I need to build in routines that force me to pause and check in. Whether it’s scheduling time for lunch, setting timers to remind myself to get up and move, or creating a wind-down ritual at the end of the day, these habits provide structure. They act as external prompts to help where my internal ones sometimes fail.



Community. This is where friends, family, peers, and supervisors come in. Having a community that can gently (or not so gently) point out when you’re overworking is invaluable. They become your external feedback loop when your internal one is on the fritz. Often, it’s easier for those outside of us to notice when we’re nearing burnout. I’ve come to trust the people who care about me to help me recognize when I need a break or when I’m slipping into unhealthy work patterns.


In a world that doesn’t always make room for neurodivergent ways of working, it’s crucial to lean on these supports. Self-care, for us, isn’t always intuitive, but with rituals and community, we can build systems that work for us—even when we can’t see the need for it ourselves.


Next on the blog : Rituals and tools to sustain your energy and presence as a neurodivergent therapist



November 22, 2025
I’ve pulled together a holiday wishlist full of things that actually help — not the “must-have productivity bullet journal” hype, but real tools that me and people in my little ADHD-community lean on. Some of these are sensory, some are calming, some are just practical for a brain that forgets where it put its keys… again. This list is not sponsored — these are things that have brought relief or joy to real neurodivergent folks, myself included. My ADHD Gift Guide: What to Ask For (or Treat Yourself To) 1. Books & Workbooks The Anti-Planner If you’ve tried all the planners and they just end up collecting dust: this is for you. It’s not a dated planner — think of it more like an activity workbook for procrastinators. There are games, prompts, and low-pressure strategies to help you actually start stuff, even when motivation is MIA. It’s a favorite because it meets you where you are. Dani Donovan / Anti-Planner+1 Where to buy: You can order The Anti-Planner directly from the author’s site. Dani Donovan / Anti-Planner (Note: be careful of knockoffs.) Reddit+1 2. Fidgets & Sensory Tools Little Ouchie Grippie — This is one of our top picks in the office. It’s spiky, but in a grounding way — great for emotional regulation, calming down, or just giving your hands something to do when your brain is all over the place. Square Magic Dice — This is the fidget I can’t stop playing with. There’s a little hidden gem inside: a spinning-top spring surprise. It’s simultaneously weirdly magic and deeply satisfying. 3. Nervous System + Bedtime Support Pulsetto Vagus‑Nerve Device — Okay, full disclosure: I’m skeptical about how effective it is. BUT — I use it every night. The soundtrack, the ritual, the feel — it’s comforting. Pulsetto uses gentle vagus-nerve stimulation to help you relax, reset, and (supposedly) sleep better. 4. Grounding + Anxiety Soothers Bearaby Organic Cotton Weighted Blanket — Weighted blankets are a classic, and this one is dreamy. Soft knit cotton that’s breathable, but still gives that comforting hug. Perfect for calming down racing thoughts or overactive nerves. 5. Practical Lifesavers for the Forgetful Brain Apple AirTag — This is basically my “where are my keys? where’s my phone?” insurance. I’ve got like ten of these floating around, and on stressful days, “Find My” is my lifeline. 📝 A Few Other Beloved Ideas Beyond the main items, here are some bonus favorites from clients: Mini sensory stones or palm pebbles (textured, smooth, grounding) Visual timers (e.g., time-block timers) like the time timer A sunrise / gentle alarm clock (for less jarring wakeups) Noise-canceling headphones if the world feels too loud A self-care workbook (unplanner style) to track moods, energy, and needs 💬 Why These Items, Specifically I didn’t choose these just because they’re “trendy ADHD gifts.” Instead: These are things that people in my therapy space or IRL community actually use . They support emotional regulation , sensory needs , executive functioning , or daily brain stuff — not just productivity for the sake of “being busy.” Many are tools , not “fixes.” They’re not magic cures, but they help make life a little more manageable. ⚠️ Disclaimer This is just a personal list, curated from me + my clients. I’m not a product reviewer or a scientist — I’m a therapist + ADHD person. I cannot guarantee that these will “work” for you. Use your own judgment for anything with health or sensory implications. None of this is sponsored or affiliate-linked (unless you find links later, that’s your call — but not mine).
self portrait, green and yellow visual distortion
By Annabelle Denmark LPC May 1, 2025
This post is for therapists in training and clients who would like to know a bit more about how I show up in session.
butterfly on twig
March 16, 2025
Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) means experiencing the world on a deeper level—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Dr. Elaine Aron, in The Highly Sensitive Person, describes HSPs as having a finely tuned nervous system that makes them more reactive to their surroundings. This sensitivity can be both a strength and a challenge, especially when it comes to illness, medication, and personal care. Psychotherapist Robin Shapiro expands on this idea, emphasizing the impact of environmental sensitivities and the importance of trauma-informed therapy.